teambuilding

Throughout the shift, I've been joking about sneaking out. I didn't. It was a department event. I decided to sit with the most quiet person on the bus. I was surprised it took us four hours to get there.  There were men dressed in yellow. There was a partylist event there.

We headed to our rooms. The place was small. There were eight double beds in a small room. Since I told them I am not staying overnight, I had no bed and my stuff went to the floor, and I sat on the floor. 

Immediately we were summoned to have lunch. Being tired and hungry, I did not care if the rice were a bit crusty and dry, or the fish was tasteless. I was hungry.

 We were divided in teams. I was with the Red team. There were challenges. There was a photo challenge to come up with 6 photographs where everyone were in it, following themes like Walking Dead, Circle of Life. Things like that. They asked me to lie on the grass, I did so without question. When asked to spread my arms and look like Jesus, I did so as well. Really, I wondered how can grown adults put up with this silliness. I asked, why. WHY? WHY?!

 Then they asked us to make a video. We did Call Me Maybe. They were so excited about it. They cam up with a voiceover-ed video idea. They made me dance. I don't really dance. So, I swinged my head right-left, left-right. They told me to wave. I did. They asked me to do the HARLEM SHAKE and haad no idea what a fucking harlem shake was. I don't think they did, too. I just stood at the farthest distance acceptably visible from the camera, and swinged my hands like an idiot. Thankfully, I was not the star of the video.

 Later when we saw the film, i realized it was not that bad and my efforts to be scarce was rewarded. It looked like a decent flash mob video, if you're into those type of things. There was a bikini contest that night from, i dunno... it ws kinda tack althought the girls were sexy.

 Dinner was as good as lunch. The worms from Bangkok tasted better, I ate it like peanuts. Thank God there was alcohol that night.

Finding Inspiration

I woke up at 4 a.m. Lit a cigarette. There is a certain clarity in my mind in the wee hours of the morning, maybe that's the reason I'm an early riser.

I wanted to make a portfolio. I needed inspiration. I wanted to draw something from my dreams, but, as of late, I wake up from dreamless sleep, or maybe I forgot them so easily. Those that do were as monotonous as my daily routine at work.

I looked at previous work that I liked. Perhaps being with people with same interests inspired me.

I took a picture book from Meow's shelf. I tried to draw a leopard hiding in the bushes. I stopped, unsatisfied, before I even applied color.

Meow used to tell me I have a habit of not finishing the job or overdoing it. Admittingly, yes, I do that.

I looked out the screen window, noticed drawings probably done by the previous tenant. I kinda liked it, even if it seemed to resemble a geometric phallus, whatever it may be.

I sometimes wonder why I keep doing the things I do, knowing I am not very good at it. I really want to be good at something. To this day, I remain uncertain of my purpose. I turned thirty last December. I should know.

I think it's weird that I sometimes go on a monologue in the morning, similar to this, with no one really hearing, yet I still keep on doing it. It's a habit I had for as long as I could remember.

I am at peace today, more than usual, as the day normally brings frustration, mostly about the inadequacies I wish I did not have.

I just heard roosters crowing. It sounded great. I think today's gonna be a good one.