Busy as Blah

I tend to get annoyed by people who complain a lot. And here I am complaining about complaining, while I will complain further about my schedule. Sorry, I tend to ramble when I had little sleep and will still lose sleep for maybe the next two or three weeks.

Like last Monday, I had to go through all these things I can't tell yet. The next day, I went to Makati to submit requirements. I have a scheduled thing (again with the thing I can't tell yet) that was postponed; then I did it today, and have to wait for further instructions I don't know when. I also had to go to work where I was expected to work 9 hours at least, and they are soliciting overtimes and rest day overtimes. We have this thing on Saturday scheduled in the afternoon (in Baguio) that we committed to 2 months ago, and we'll most likely go on OT till morning and rush among the people on an exodus to whatever province they have to go to. But before that, I have to go to Makati tomorrow, go home, hand the papers to some municipal office.

Of course, I need to sleep as well.

It's OK I guess if I am assured I can have some time to rest without worries. I mean, time to just rest, stay still and completely relax without worries (like that's ever going to happen anytime soon). Just 24 hours would be fine.

I think when you're busy, you get all wrapped up in the flux that you have little time to think. Like you're functioning like a robot, delegating priorities and doing the things on a must-do-first or to-get-it-done basis.

I am not the type who likes to be busy. It's a great distraction from things that worry you, but too much of it drives me crazy (coz I like not doing anything). Call me lazy but I like having time for myself. When I say time for myself, I mean time to just be alone or be with someone I am totally comfortable with, and not do anything. That is an ideal weekend for me. I don't like talking too much to people. I enjoy observing people, but I like to be a reasonably good distance away from them.

I am not even feeling well. On the way to work, the cars I can see through the window looked ghostlike to me. My knees are getting weak (in a love-unrelated way), my eyes are heavy (and so are my fingers), my belly's acting up and I can taste some bile rising up my throat.

I wish I was born 20 or 30 years earlier. Our parents may have had it easier than us. There is little room for free spirits in a 21st-century urban society in the Philippines.

For the birds

Last weekend, I ought to have slept. I was really tired last Friday, going to offices of that thing I was working hard to push through for months. Then I had maybe 3 hours of sleep. Then I headed to work, spent 9 hours there, and stayed at Meow's.

She was all lively and everything while I was dozing off. I slept and woke up from the heat. Looking at her shelf and wrestled with the idea of reading the books that she had, most of which are thick volumes of fantasy.

I decided to settle with something easy to read, The Catcher in the Rye. I read that when I was in college (I think it was my last year when I was already working and I was able to buy the books that I want).

I think I found Holden somewhat annoying, and now that I am a bit older, I realize how relatable he is, maybe because back then I hardly socialized with people, that's why.

Meow also made me watch The Crow, the movie Brandon Lee was most famous for (the only movie I know of his). Too bad he's dead.

I liked all the actors, even the villain was cool. We have Eric Draven running and crossing the rooftops. Amazingly, I liked the action sequences. These days, we see fluid CGIs that, while amazing, still remains unreal for me.

Maybe it's for the best. As I said, Brandon Lee is dead.

This leads me again to my desire to own a crow. I once suggested to Meow that we take care of a crow. Crows are very smart, you know. You can even google it. Some people think they're creepy.

No, she does not want it. She thinks they're creepy and she does not like carrion eaters at home.

Some 110 film shots

I turned on my neglected laptop after more than two weeks, and it took me about two hours to send important email messages, along with reading them, before being able to go ahead doing the things I like.

These are the test shots I have of the Keystone XR33 camera that I bought for 50 pesos at Burger Joint in Brookeside, which uses 110 film. Matagal ako makaubos ng film. Wala kasi masyadong panahon para sa sarili.

I wanted to take pictures of children, but was afraid to be mistaken for a pedophile or stalker or some other sicko that seems common these days, so I just took stolen shots that sometimes looked like this.




It was said that these cameras are great spy cameras back in the day because of how compact it was. By the way, if you were wondering what it was with the frame, it was how it was scanned by Digiprint. I am too lazy to crop them.










Sorry Shamcey Supsup for not giving you justice. Di ko napaghandaan ang pagdaan mo sa aking harap. We were just crossing the street, and it happened so fast.






This next one is my favorite. While Meow was busy taking pictures of the old church in Boso-Boso (we were the only people in the empty courtyard), this dog just walked there like he owned the place.



I don't think he looks as small or as cute (but definitely adorable), as I remember that day.


Here's a picture of the church.



I still need to process the other film rolls that I have  with shots of the church.

Siguro Sigurista

Ang pakikipagnegosasyon ay isang bagay na 'di ko masyadong gusto. Dito ko napansin na iba na talaga ang mga tao ngayon. Halimbawa, dati ang mga tao ay mas mapagtiwala. Ang salita mo ay sapat na para sila ay maging kampante. Ngayon, lahat ay kinakailangan na ilagay sa papel, mula sa mga resibo at pati ang mga simpleng pangako.

Mga tao pati dati, pag may iuutos ka, kikilos agad at hindi agad maghihintay ng bayad at kapalit.

Siguro nga kailangan natin ang tamang dokumentasyon. Sabi nila, pag-iwas ito sa mga mapagsamantala at proteksiyon sa iyong mga ari-arian, pero bakit lahat na lang kailangan? Kaya rin nauuso ang red tape.
Minsan mamadaliin ka at wala silang pakelam. Detachment. Wala lang, walang pakelam. Masyado lang sa sarili ang iniisip at laging na lang inuuna ang sarili. Minsan sinabihan ko si Meow na OK ang magbigay pero unahin ang sarili, ngunit kung hindi ka naman maabala, bakit hindi?

Ang second most influential book sa America nung 1991 (kasunod ng Bible) ay ang Atlas Shrugged ni Ayn Rand. Sa librong yun, self-interest ang tema, at kapitalismo ang kalakaran sa buhay, politika at moralidad. Aaminin ko na malaki ang naging impluwensiya noon sa akin nung ako ay nasa kolehiyo hanggang ma-realize ko na mas masaya mabuhay, magbigay at tumanggap ng walang hinihinging kapalit. Nagbasa ako ng Time Magazine nang nakaraang linggo at may article kay Ron Paul* at nabanggit ang Atlas Shrugged dun. Tayo daw ay nabubuhay sa dystopian society tulad ng kay Rand sa libro.

I gotta hand it down to Rand to write a thought-provoking piece of literature, but as a philosophy, no, no, NO! The world is full enough of greedy people as it is.

Minsan, ija-justify natin ang paninigurado natin para sa ating proteksiyon. Pero baka di na lang natin mamalayan na ginagawa na natin sa ibang tao ang bagay na hindi natin gustong gawin sa sarili natin. In the end, lahat tayo nagiging halimaw (na nag-iisip na tayo ay mabuti kasi ginagawa lang natin ang mga bagay na ito para di tayo malamangan) dahil swapang tayo.

This is a note for myself... that I should never be too egoistic and not love money too much.

In tagalog, para di ko makalimutan (pag nagka-episode ako ng English amnesia), di ako dapat maging gahaman.

*Ron Paul ay isang politiko sa Amerika (at sinubukan maging Presidential political candidate) na nagawang mahulaan ang fiscal crisis ng mga nakaraang taon.