Iris and Meow

Iris and Meow, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

It's Iris' birthday. I was using a newly bought Diana F+ camera. I decided to do some experiments with it.

meow and her snow cat diana

meow and her snow cat diana, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

I took this using an ISO 200 film using a point-and-shoot Kodak Star 335 camera. I kinda liked the light leak

From Quiapo to the malls

My girlfriend and I went to Quiapo and three malls, all in one day. I was able to buy a Yashica SLR camera for 2,500 pesos. I was scared to buy the other brands.

I wish I had money and I can afford to quit my job and take pictures all day. I know I am not that good yet, but I need to time to practice and I am sure I will be really good at it if I do. I would have bought a DSLR but they are ridiculously expensive for me. I even spent the money I was allotting for Prismacolors.

Besides, I like film. It reminds me of my youth when we really aren't sure what we are going to get. The ones I have developed, I had good ones, but with more crappy stuff coming up.

I am planning to join a contest, and I've been daydreaming, "Baka ito na ang sagot ko sa kahirapan!" I imagine myself walking out of the office shouting the vilest of expletives while the guards escort me out.

That would be wonderful.

Malls make me sad. In our country, they have replaced parks. Kids play in this pen, jumping in trampolines and jelly-like plastic that is supposed to look like water. SM North has these stuffed animals and Styrofoam fishes. As an attraction they have live animals this weekend in one corner. And I felt sorry for the reptiles, and I am not that sympathetic to reptiles to begin with.

Once I am able to get that house, if I do, I would stop going to malls too often. I used to like malls when I was in college. Whenever I don't feel like going to school, I'd go to the mall, almost always alone and not buying anything, I would go to the mall. Maybe it's because I am getting old or I just don't like large crowds, I try to avoid them now, but there are very few choices to go to now, and everyting seems to be done in malls now: groceries, bills, shopping....

People and Me

When I was younger, when I've got no idea yet, I wanted to belong somewhere. I always had a problem fitting in. It was like that when I was in high school and the earlier parts of college. I do have friends, a lot of acquaintances, but in the end, I felt alone most of the time. I felt I could or should change. Part of me was still longing for that when I started working, even if I guess I wouldn't admit it.

Then I realize that, in the end, I would never fit in anywhere. I am not that likable as a person. It just is, maybe because I am different. I like acting like a kid sometimes, or more appropriately, I enjoy doing the stuff that kids ought to be doing. I mumble to myself. I entertain unrealistic thoughts and things like that. I never found it weird but people do.

I thought that I don't like certain people, but I realize that I don't like many people. It's not that I hate them or anything, but I don't like people, in general. I like being alone. I don't like large crowds and prefer the comfort of being people I am familiar with and accepts me for who I am, which is harder to find, considering how people seem to judge everything on the basis of their preconceived stereotypes. Not that I am not guilty of that myself, I guess what I lacked was the ability to pull it off.

There are things I could let go or not care about. There are things that bother me, so why bother? The world wouldn't change for poor old me, it's just how it is. I maybe narrow-minded this way, but we have to admit that that is how the world works. My values may differ from theirs, I may not approve of what they do just as they would not approve of how I am running my life, I just gotta accept that I cannot proselytize people into my thinking or my idea of fun.

I realize that I like myself too much, as egoistic as it sounds, to be a different person. And those who accept that are welcome to be a friend, unless I don't like you.

Facebook sucks

The weather is freaking hot. I have work tonight, and I am finding it hard to sleep. I was planning to do some sketches, but I feel lazy to do that, too.

I logged in to look at FB, and found it annoying, depressing.

I would rather look at Facebook, if people would strop bitching around and share something worth sharing. I really dont care much whether you're at home sleeping or drinking orange juice. I don't care, and I am sure 95% of the people on FB don't care, too.

And also, please, for the love of old people, stop sharing your sexcapades. I am sure your low-life friends like that, pati na rin ang mga chismoso at chismosa, but how about others like you cousins or your colleagues. Hopefully, you don't have your parents in there. FB is a wonderful way of advertising you're a slut.

I hate the bickering and the inane, utterly insipid things people do or type, just for the sake of conversation, or ugly people posing like supermodels. The weird part is that they are not posing like supermodels out of fun, they are SERIOUS about it. It's scary.They have these big professional cameras, which thanks to digital technology, people can buy easily now.

Somebody should tell them to stop it. I mean, I wanna be a model, too, but I can't. I am not deluded.

The pictures on Facebook, with people having their tongues sticking out or men looking for sex and women clamoring for attention by being slutty makes me ask, "Has the world gone low or what?"

I always thought I am open minded, but I am really getting intolerant.

Quick update

I am tweaking this blog. I am not sure if I would ever look for another domain after the one that I had expired.

I plan to use this to write stuff, post pictures and stuff.

I am aslo gonna be working on making some other things.

getting married

I asked my girlfriend to marry me. I could not imagine myself to be with anyone else. It's scary but I am excited as well. I think it's scary when you think about it, after all, most marriages these days fail. But I am scared not to fulfill a promise and I want a simple life for both of us in the future. I know it may sound crazy, but that is what I want.