teambuilding

Throughout the shift, I've been joking about sneaking out. I didn't. It was a department event. I decided to sit with the most quiet person on the bus. I was surprised it took us four hours to get there.  There were men dressed in yellow. There was a partylist event there.

We headed to our rooms. The place was small. There were eight double beds in a small room. Since I told them I am not staying overnight, I had no bed and my stuff went to the floor, and I sat on the floor. 

Immediately we were summoned to have lunch. Being tired and hungry, I did not care if the rice were a bit crusty and dry, or the fish was tasteless. I was hungry.

 We were divided in teams. I was with the Red team. There were challenges. There was a photo challenge to come up with 6 photographs where everyone were in it, following themes like Walking Dead, Circle of Life. Things like that. They asked me to lie on the grass, I did so without question. When asked to spread my arms and look like Jesus, I did so as well. Really, I wondered how can grown adults put up with this silliness. I asked, why. WHY? WHY?!

 Then they asked us to make a video. We did Call Me Maybe. They were so excited about it. They cam up with a voiceover-ed video idea. They made me dance. I don't really dance. So, I swinged my head right-left, left-right. They told me to wave. I did. They asked me to do the HARLEM SHAKE and haad no idea what a fucking harlem shake was. I don't think they did, too. I just stood at the farthest distance acceptably visible from the camera, and swinged my hands like an idiot. Thankfully, I was not the star of the video.

 Later when we saw the film, i realized it was not that bad and my efforts to be scarce was rewarded. It looked like a decent flash mob video, if you're into those type of things. There was a bikini contest that night from, i dunno... it ws kinda tack althought the girls were sexy.

 Dinner was as good as lunch. The worms from Bangkok tasted better, I ate it like peanuts. Thank God there was alcohol that night.

Finding Inspiration

I woke up at 4 a.m. Lit a cigarette. There is a certain clarity in my mind in the wee hours of the morning, maybe that's the reason I'm an early riser.

I wanted to make a portfolio. I needed inspiration. I wanted to draw something from my dreams, but, as of late, I wake up from dreamless sleep, or maybe I forgot them so easily. Those that do were as monotonous as my daily routine at work.

I looked at previous work that I liked. Perhaps being with people with same interests inspired me.

I took a picture book from Meow's shelf. I tried to draw a leopard hiding in the bushes. I stopped, unsatisfied, before I even applied color.

Meow used to tell me I have a habit of not finishing the job or overdoing it. Admittingly, yes, I do that.

I looked out the screen window, noticed drawings probably done by the previous tenant. I kinda liked it, even if it seemed to resemble a geometric phallus, whatever it may be.

I sometimes wonder why I keep doing the things I do, knowing I am not very good at it. I really want to be good at something. To this day, I remain uncertain of my purpose. I turned thirty last December. I should know.

I think it's weird that I sometimes go on a monologue in the morning, similar to this, with no one really hearing, yet I still keep on doing it. It's a habit I had for as long as I could remember.

I am at peace today, more than usual, as the day normally brings frustration, mostly about the inadequacies I wish I did not have.

I just heard roosters crowing. It sounded great. I think today's gonna be a good one.

Moving On

It's been a long time since I last blogged. Recently, I do either when I am bored or disappointed over something. I blog now because of the latter.

About a year ago, we moved to a house that we were crazy about. It has the perfect size for a couple. It had all the elements we wanted, trees, birds, a great hillside view and an amazing sunset almost everyday except when it's cloudy.

We were happy. We were content. We are quiet people. We hardly go outside. Besides our family, we had only entertained people close to our age three times. We did things that made us happy. The other inconveniences like noisy neighbors, expensive water bills, high association dues, it did not matter to us. We were just there minding our business.

It all changed one day over a little thing, which led to something else, getting bigger and bigger. And we decided to let go of the house we bought. There are fights to battle, but this one is not going to work. We cannot live there til old age and be surrounded by people who do not like us.

Sunday Morning

Yesterday, I was awake for over 24 hours. The past week, we've been doing nine to ten-hour shifts, with little break, working on making and editing transcripts one after the other, and was advised of two more weeks of work like that.

There's a lot of stuff I want to do now. November is supposed to be a nice month. I'd like to buy Christmas decorations. I want to finish the stories I started. I have Kurecolor markers, but I have yet to get inspiration. I have a decent amount of art materials, unused for quite some time now.

I wonder if my friends still remember me, or if they still have me close to heart.

I have always been making plans to do the things I want every year. 2013, as inauspicious as the last two digits are, I intend to take some risks. I am planning to open an online business. I am planning to find a job that may not be necessarily something I like, but definitely something I can genuinely be proud of (not just by title or things like that).

I enrolled myself to a gym, just three months. I plan to get fit soon. I am joining a fun run December 1. And I would do that. I am still torn whether I should take art classes or writing. I plan to enroll for  that before the year ends, and hopefully start next year.

This I tell the jaded fuckers who kinda unwittingly drag me with them down the path of corporate drabness, I am gonna do the things I fucking like! Bwahahaha!

New Older iPhone

I like technology, though I am not the type that has all the latest gadgets there is available, because it is too expensive. As much as I like to buy all those stuff, I just don't like buying things that depreciates so quickly. After a year, after spending a month's salary worth to buy the latest phone, it would just be a fraction of it's original worth.

I was even without a phone for  three months until everyone insisted that I get one after the monsoon that flooded Manila.

However, two weeks ago, my sister told me of iPhones being on promo by my service provider. iPhone 5 is coming out, so I think they're trying to dispose as much of them as they could. So I went to the mall and got myself the 3GS model. It may be prehistoric as far as technocrat's are concerned but I got it practically free.

Some Burden off my Shoulders

When I applied for this job, I thought I'd be just editing. But it seems that I have more responsibilities with people than I had with my last job. The last job that I had, all I needed to do was edit, and I mean EDIT A LOT, and to hell with everything that happens to anyone else.

Here, it is team work. And I was placed in a situation slightly higher than most of my colleagues. Considering I was never a transcriber, I felt such a phony, knowing that I am paid much more than average.

When I came in, I had to learn stuff. While similar to my old job, the whole dynamics is different. I have serious socialization problems, and I do not like talking to people that much. It's just how I am and I have no intention of changing who I am, even if social skills is a company metric. Swerte naman nila kung babaguhin ko ang pagkatao ko para sa kanila.

Housemate

Up in the ceiling, we have a housemate. We're not sure what he or she is. All we know know is that he's been there for months. He was not there when we first moved, then later on, we noticed the sounds he makes at night.

So this roused our curiosity, not knowing how to check him out. Immediately, we suspected he's a python. It is not uncommon for homes for Philippine homes to have pythons in its vicinity, especially with the kind of environment we have. Then we also suspected the supernatural kind.

That made us unsure if we want to check him out. We then made a list of what they can be. We later on decided that snake slithers and it is doubtful that snakes make those seemingly footstep sounds (for the lack of words that I could think of now).

Of Opinions on the Internet

These days, everyone has a say. It's perfectly normal, I have an opinion and I bet everyone else has, too. And I would feel sorry for the person who doesn't have any. However, these days, people's opinions are pretty much known to everyone, if they go online.

Ten years ago, the Internet was a place to say your opinion, so does now. But it was different back then. The Internet was used to do research for school and, for a lot more people, download porn. There are forums to discuss stuff like religion, politics, metaphysics and such. Although marginalized, it did not matter what background you came from, what mattered was the weight of what you say. At times I reveled at this and learned the hard way that making a statement without  knowing much about it could lead to embarrassment (even if you are discussing them among people you have never met).

Thanks to the convenience of social networking, the Internet has become more democratized. I have hundreds of friends on Facebook, many of which are people I know but I couldn't really call friends. If I narrow it down, I have maybe 20 friends on FB.

Sight of fireflies

At night, I would go outside and wait for the van arranged by the company to fetch us to work. The past days, I am seeing fireflies. It's been a long time since I saw them last, my childhood, I reckon. It made me glad we got the house.

It must have been the rains that made them reappear. And I hope it rains more because I want to see them more. Fireflies aren't like how they are depicted on TV and movies. The ones we have locally, anyway. They aren't really that bright and they don't shine like steady mini-lanterns.

They move flickering and fading dimly, so at first sight, I thought I might have been imagining them or my eyesight is failing me. When I finally realized that I did indeed see them, I was happy to be there and hated riding the van.

It's a nostalgic thing. And it made me hate so many things in the world that led us to no longer appreciate such subtle beauties in nature, because we need to work, think of the bills and things like that. I am guilty, I have to admit, I have responsibilities, I get home too tired to do anything much, and I know I have to do chores later.

I wish things in the world are as I thought it would be like when I was a kid, but it isn't and I know I have to deal with that.

Grave of Beetles

Like I may have said numerous times on this blog, one of the reasons we chose this house is because of its environment, unique birds, lizards, trees, plants and insects.

While we see all sorts of moths and bugs, I commented once that I no longer see the kind of beetles I saw as a kid. They are the cute brown types that feeds on tree sap. I don't know exactly what their scientific name to provide you a name, but they are really cute and not repulsive at all.

So perhaps I may have summoned them, because during the past several weeks, they made a reappearance in my life, especially when it rains at night. They go inside the house, three or maybe four at a time, and then they die.

Yesterday, I scooped one out from the folds of our living room curtain and placed him outside on a horsetail shoot in front of our window,which I closed just in case he decides to sneak back in. Maybe it's the warm light we're using or maybe this mother of beetles has a nest here and she decided to have a family. I am not sure.

It's starting to bug me. So I pick them up as soon as I could, if I can, and let them out of the window. Unfortunately, I cannot save them all. There is one, just this morning, in the bathroom, floating in a tub of soapy water; one on the floor to be swept out; one dead on a bowl; and you just start feeling sorry for them.

Suddenly, I was able to understand what Holden Caulfield was saying:

Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. -- JD Salinger, The Cather in the Rye

Only in my case, it's beetles.

Learning How to Play

When I was about four or five, we had this neighbor, Terry, who was schizophrenic. One day, when I was out playing with neighbors, I may have wandered through their living room and was playing with their piano.

Being very young and my memory isn't very clear at that time, the details are a bit vague to me. She gave me a crash course in playing the piano. I always thought of Terry as nice, although strange. I remember it being an awkward situation. So she walked me home and told my mother how much potential I had with playing the piano.

Rediscovery

For the past week, I have rediscovered tweeting. I had an account for over a year now (or maybe even longer) and never quite got used it... until now.

It's actually cool. I just make it a point to follow only the people who interest me, who post stuff that interest me, unlike those awful trolls on Facebook. I think that was what I should have done on FB, but social dictates required me to be polite and approve people because FB has become a way of life for almost everyone  below 40 (and sometimes older).

And so, I am not spared from people I am not close to who post raunchy photos, insipid status updates and their vapid lifestyles. I hardly use it anymore, plus it kinda messed up my life for more than a year, when some photo of crazy people with me on it came out online.

I am also into Tumblr these days without any followers. I used to get bored with it, most of the pages I see are reposting other people's work. I am doing a makeover of it now by posting my amatuerish artwork a little everyday until I run out of pics, so that it may inspire me to draw again when I have nothing more to post.

http://jaypox.tumblr.com/

Earnings season is almost over, and I am excited to stop editing the stuff I do at work and have my life back again, until maybe mid-April when second quarter earnings season begins.

Dinner

Meow and I had a nice dinner with candle lights, red wine, munggo and leftover chicken.

It was really nice. There we were in the study, surrounded by still-unpacked things from November, our new shelf, all our books, the dog Border peering by the window, and just talking without the diversion of TV.

I guess this was the life I thought of having as a kid. Sure, the neighbors are annoying. But it's still nice, the house, the cool wind. It's got all we need in a house. You see, we don't like going out that much.

Nothing's wrong with having things simple.

Awake on Early Sunday

I woke up at 3 am. Meow's still asleep. She's been reading my Fables comics last night.

I hate having anxiety attacks. Hahaha!

I opened my email, and found someone again praising my profile on Flork. I think my flork account has more info about me than I do on Facebook. Sadly. Or maybe because when I had anonymous profiles, I feel free to type whatever I wanted.

I Got a New Job

Finally, we now have Internet. The people at Sun Broadband don't seem to want to go to our place for the tech visit, so we ended up with Wi-Tribe and they had connection up and running in less than a day. May the universe bless them.

So I was able to land a job that provides free transportation from home to work, and provides unlimited beverage in the pantry. So after years of not drinking much carbonated drinks, I am consuming Coke because it seems to be the only thing that keeps me awake between 3 a.m. to 4. It's weird. And I get to be really perked up again by 4. It's seems like I get I am afflicted bya sleeping disorder during the witching hour.

Having been completely antisocial independent for over two years, I find it challenging to work with a team. They seem to be really close, and I am the only new person there. The people I know in the company are people in a different team with bigger responsibilities than I do.

Cosette

I am now unemployed... until January (that is). So I have been spending time to do what seems to be an endless amount of chores that would take forever to finish... like cleaning dog poop in the morning and the afternoon.

Here is a picture of the other lady of the house:

Photo taken by my brother-in-law

Meow named her after the character from Les Miserables. Cosette, the daughter of Fantine (adopted by Jean Valjean). She's small and adorable, and unbelievably noisy. She cries when she's sad, makes noise when she's happy, whines when she's hungry, does weird noises when at play, and yaps when she barks. She reminds me a lot of Scrappy, the small dog from Scooby Doo. For something so small, she sure is all over the place. She even pulls Border's tale, who is thrice her size and never backed down.

Adorable.

Second week in the house

It's our second week at the new house. It's really nice, despite all the expenses that comes with it. It's just that there are so many repairs! It's great. We jut took in Boarder (or Border), the dog formerly known as Rich (named by my fiancee's niece). My parents who took him in while we were still making  transactions about the house, called her Boarder knowing too well that she's going to be our dog, and now the dog formerly known as Rich no longer responds to Rich.


We don't have Internet. Our ISP's signal is low in the house, so I have to call them, and as expected from local tech support, I was not wrong with their incompetence, no matter how clearly you specified the problem, they just don't get it. So I will head to their office tomorrow to explain face-to-face with them the problem, after my interview with a prospective employer.

The house is nice, quiet, quaint and peaceful with a nice view of the sunset, and no electricity. On my way here, I am at a coffee shop waiting for Meow, I walked a steep uphill path, because there was no ride coming  our way. So the past week, I think I had exercise that I did not have for over a year.


Yun lang. I think I can't write something decent, because of the many things I am doing currently.

Moving in

We moved to our new house last weekend.

As stressful as things are, with all the headache of moving and talking to so many people, being in the house was still rewarding. It's our home. OURS.

We moved in without electricity and have people working. There's the bathroom and kitchen that needed an overhaul, the steps to be changed, and the electricity post that Meralco wants to meet specifications, even if it already has a meter base used a year ago. The signal from my postpaid phone is intermittent and my Internet connection sucks. So I hardly go online. But it's okay. Just being there is great.
It's really disappointing how money just disappears. I mean, last weekend we had lots of money. I am talking about the biggest amount I ever had my entire working life. Now it's almost all gone. Meow's taking care of all the other expenses. She's happy though, despite some nuisances from all the moving-in problems. She's happy and that makes me feel really good.

I always thought that moving out, I would be homesick. I am not. I like my family and I enjoy being with them, but being on your own home makes you really feel a sense of accomplishment. It's not like the feeling you see in sitcoms where people are jumping around and stuff, nor is it like us going through hell, it's different. I am not sure how it's like for other people. I guess after all the hard work, all that came into fruition. I am still concerned about finding a different job, but I think this is another step in reaching my dreams that till now remains hazy. At least now, I am not totally clueless what that is. And of course, I am with good company. She's great.

Waking up to the sound of chirping birds and seeing the sunset through the window is enough to compensate for all the hardship. I wish I could take some leave from work and just stay at home. That'll be great.

Moving Houses Part 1

A little bit tired. I sent my resignation at work today. And I tried to be really nice. I think it was okay.

The past week, I have been doing all the legal work for the papers for the house, and Pag-Ibig already released the check. So we just have to worry about the renovations (a lot), the garden, the debt installments and my unemployment effective "30 days or, if management permits, 2 weeks."

Meow is in charge of the interiors mostly, and I am in charge of all the other expenses. Hopefully, we'll move this weekend. Our house already has water, but no electricity yet. Meralco now requires their meters to be fixed on a standardized post that they chose themselves. No, they did not let us choose where we want it placed, because they monopolize the industry. So we mere mortals just need to follow. Another expense.

I just remind myself of the nice view it has. Last Sunday, we saw a nice sunset overlooking ortigas. It has a really nice view. It's breathtaking. The location is really quaint. The air is cool, there are few neighbors and PLENTY OF TREES.

I am really happy about it. The stuff Meow bought at Wilcon is nice. She's the type that would not settle for something cheap, as far as interiors go, if she can't help it. So we would probably have the nicest, smallest comfort room in the place. it would not be the nicest because we are going to be neighbors with a lot of rich people. Hahaha!

We are going to be taking Rich with us (the puppy that we got from Meow's sister's dog who's mother, Sasha, is my mother's cranky dog). It has always been the plan. Anyway, I don't think she'll respond to Rich anymore. My family keeps calling her Boarder for some time and she responds to it now. Meow said we should just call her Borderich. She looks a lot like our Sasha. She does. it's funny.

We're also going to be taking one of Tiger's puppies. We plan to call her Cosette, after the Les Miserables character. And we're going to pick up a kitten from a family friend in Montalban.

I still need to look for a job, and I need to look for a part time job temporarily this December, because, you know, we might get hungry. I am looking for a job, to start maybe on January. So if anyone passes by who needs an editor or someone. Just drop me a message.

The International Singing Sensation

I was on my way home earlier when the radio people started talking about Charice, who's father was recently killed, and they always refer to her as "International Singing Sensation," as if that's her profession.

Di sya tinatawag na "singer" or "actress," o kahit man lang "pop singer" o kahit medyo biased na "talented performer". Kailangan talaga "International Singing Sensation Charice." Punung-puno lang talaga ng bias.

Sa iba kasing balita, si "Senator Santiago, "boxer Manny Pacquiao" or "World Boxing Champion Manny Pacquiao" (at least yun, totoo), o "TV host Joey De Leon." Sa iba pang balita naman, kapag ordinaryong tao tinatawag na "Engineer Juan Dela Cruz" o pede rin na "JP Magsaka, call center agent" o "Jose Matalino, taxi driver."

Inisip ko, di naman siguro ilalagay sa resume ni Charice yung "International Singing Sensation" bilang profession.

Teka lang, ano nga ba ang album nya ulit? Ha? Nag-guest sya sa Glee? Akala ko bida sya dun.

Baka ako rin pede ko tawagin ang aking sarili na "Amazing Local Blogger."

I feel sorry her dad passed away, I really do. Napansin ko lang.