Cosette

I am now unemployed... until January (that is). So I have been spending time to do what seems to be an endless amount of chores that would take forever to finish... like cleaning dog poop in the morning and the afternoon.

Here is a picture of the other lady of the house:

Photo taken by my brother-in-law

Meow named her after the character from Les Miserables. Cosette, the daughter of Fantine (adopted by Jean Valjean). She's small and adorable, and unbelievably noisy. She cries when she's sad, makes noise when she's happy, whines when she's hungry, does weird noises when at play, and yaps when she barks. She reminds me a lot of Scrappy, the small dog from Scooby Doo. For something so small, she sure is all over the place. She even pulls Border's tale, who is thrice her size and never backed down.

Adorable.

Second week in the house

It's our second week at the new house. It's really nice, despite all the expenses that comes with it. It's just that there are so many repairs! It's great. We jut took in Boarder (or Border), the dog formerly known as Rich (named by my fiancee's niece). My parents who took him in while we were still making  transactions about the house, called her Boarder knowing too well that she's going to be our dog, and now the dog formerly known as Rich no longer responds to Rich.


We don't have Internet. Our ISP's signal is low in the house, so I have to call them, and as expected from local tech support, I was not wrong with their incompetence, no matter how clearly you specified the problem, they just don't get it. So I will head to their office tomorrow to explain face-to-face with them the problem, after my interview with a prospective employer.

The house is nice, quiet, quaint and peaceful with a nice view of the sunset, and no electricity. On my way here, I am at a coffee shop waiting for Meow, I walked a steep uphill path, because there was no ride coming  our way. So the past week, I think I had exercise that I did not have for over a year.


Yun lang. I think I can't write something decent, because of the many things I am doing currently.

Moving in

We moved to our new house last weekend.

As stressful as things are, with all the headache of moving and talking to so many people, being in the house was still rewarding. It's our home. OURS.

We moved in without electricity and have people working. There's the bathroom and kitchen that needed an overhaul, the steps to be changed, and the electricity post that Meralco wants to meet specifications, even if it already has a meter base used a year ago. The signal from my postpaid phone is intermittent and my Internet connection sucks. So I hardly go online. But it's okay. Just being there is great.
It's really disappointing how money just disappears. I mean, last weekend we had lots of money. I am talking about the biggest amount I ever had my entire working life. Now it's almost all gone. Meow's taking care of all the other expenses. She's happy though, despite some nuisances from all the moving-in problems. She's happy and that makes me feel really good.

I always thought that moving out, I would be homesick. I am not. I like my family and I enjoy being with them, but being on your own home makes you really feel a sense of accomplishment. It's not like the feeling you see in sitcoms where people are jumping around and stuff, nor is it like us going through hell, it's different. I am not sure how it's like for other people. I guess after all the hard work, all that came into fruition. I am still concerned about finding a different job, but I think this is another step in reaching my dreams that till now remains hazy. At least now, I am not totally clueless what that is. And of course, I am with good company. She's great.

Waking up to the sound of chirping birds and seeing the sunset through the window is enough to compensate for all the hardship. I wish I could take some leave from work and just stay at home. That'll be great.

Moving Houses Part 1

A little bit tired. I sent my resignation at work today. And I tried to be really nice. I think it was okay.

The past week, I have been doing all the legal work for the papers for the house, and Pag-Ibig already released the check. So we just have to worry about the renovations (a lot), the garden, the debt installments and my unemployment effective "30 days or, if management permits, 2 weeks."

Meow is in charge of the interiors mostly, and I am in charge of all the other expenses. Hopefully, we'll move this weekend. Our house already has water, but no electricity yet. Meralco now requires their meters to be fixed on a standardized post that they chose themselves. No, they did not let us choose where we want it placed, because they monopolize the industry. So we mere mortals just need to follow. Another expense.

I just remind myself of the nice view it has. Last Sunday, we saw a nice sunset overlooking ortigas. It has a really nice view. It's breathtaking. The location is really quaint. The air is cool, there are few neighbors and PLENTY OF TREES.

I am really happy about it. The stuff Meow bought at Wilcon is nice. She's the type that would not settle for something cheap, as far as interiors go, if she can't help it. So we would probably have the nicest, smallest comfort room in the place. it would not be the nicest because we are going to be neighbors with a lot of rich people. Hahaha!

We are going to be taking Rich with us (the puppy that we got from Meow's sister's dog who's mother, Sasha, is my mother's cranky dog). It has always been the plan. Anyway, I don't think she'll respond to Rich anymore. My family keeps calling her Boarder for some time and she responds to it now. Meow said we should just call her Borderich. She looks a lot like our Sasha. She does. it's funny.

We're also going to be taking one of Tiger's puppies. We plan to call her Cosette, after the Les Miserables character. And we're going to pick up a kitten from a family friend in Montalban.

I still need to look for a job, and I need to look for a part time job temporarily this December, because, you know, we might get hungry. I am looking for a job, to start maybe on January. So if anyone passes by who needs an editor or someone. Just drop me a message.

The International Singing Sensation

I was on my way home earlier when the radio people started talking about Charice, who's father was recently killed, and they always refer to her as "International Singing Sensation," as if that's her profession.

Di sya tinatawag na "singer" or "actress," o kahit man lang "pop singer" o kahit medyo biased na "talented performer". Kailangan talaga "International Singing Sensation Charice." Punung-puno lang talaga ng bias.

Sa iba kasing balita, si "Senator Santiago, "boxer Manny Pacquiao" or "World Boxing Champion Manny Pacquiao" (at least yun, totoo), o "TV host Joey De Leon." Sa iba pang balita naman, kapag ordinaryong tao tinatawag na "Engineer Juan Dela Cruz" o pede rin na "JP Magsaka, call center agent" o "Jose Matalino, taxi driver."

Inisip ko, di naman siguro ilalagay sa resume ni Charice yung "International Singing Sensation" bilang profession.

Teka lang, ano nga ba ang album nya ulit? Ha? Nag-guest sya sa Glee? Akala ko bida sya dun.

Baka ako rin pede ko tawagin ang aking sarili na "Amazing Local Blogger."

I feel sorry her dad passed away, I really do. Napansin ko lang.

People getting Fat

At work, people are getting fat. Everybody I know is getting fat. My girlfriend is starting to gain weight, and all her life she's been skinny. The people who started at our company, just about the same time I did, are already fat. And the skinny ones are on the way there. The men have beer bellies.

I think there are only few people there who don't. There was this guy who is almost as skinny as I am, and you'll see his face getting bloated, just as this girl I know whose face is already getting plump. As amusing as it is, it's unhealthy and weird. I mean, weird. And people at work have little time to eat.

So if you were wondering why, the only food available here are 7-11, Mini Stop and McDonald's. We work late at night and with the kind of work that we do, people mostly bring their food on their desks. That's the only reason I could think of.

I think I am one of the few people here who do not gain weight, but despite that, I think I am getting sick. My chest gets heavy and I think I am not as healthy as I used to be. I easily get tired.

Note to self: Exercise

Baguio Weekend

For someone who's maternal grandfather drove a bus to Baguio and whose parents met there, I am the only person in the family who's never been there. I don't go out that often, you see.

Last weekend, we headed to Baguio for this event we committed to. Because we were not allowed to take leaves during earnings season, we just swapped schedules with people with earlier schedules.

We were able to take the 6 a.m. bus to Baguio after work. May nagsabi sa amin na buti at nakaalis kami agad sa ofis dahil nag-crash daw lahat sa system namin at ayaw nila magpauwi ng mga tao. Medyo nakakatawa.

So Meow and I had little sleep. It's a good thing the bus ride was nice. I like looking at large expanse of fields and greens. It's very refreshing.

We arrived in Baguio and had to look for Oh My Gulay!, a vegetarian restaurant/gallery where the exhibit was to take place. We arrived there to see a bunch of seemingly snotty young people. We left our pictures with the group and looked for a hotel, then we headed back to V.O.C.A.S. This time we were able to really work. We were assigned to to post the pictures on the wall. The first wall was done by a bunch of people, so it was hard to pitch in.

We were asked to make a wall. We had that one just for ourselves. There were really nice pictures from the group. I still wonder why we were left alone to do that.

The arrangement mostly was the concept of Meow. She arranged the pictures applying design theories (even if she wouldn't admit it), while I just pitched in and gave some suggestions.

Using "her" iPod

It turned out nice, and we hope we gave the pictures justice. I'll probably post how it looked on a later post (I only brought film cameras). Oo nga pala, di nyo makikita ang kulay pag lumabas na kasi B&W at grayscale lang film na meron ako nung panahon na yun. Kailangan pa i-process.

And yes, we were able to finally meet nice and fun people. Artists are the coolest people ever.

Because of our lack of sleep. We headed to a nearby resto, ate and got back to the hotel. As much as we wanted to be in the concert, 36+++ hours of being awake got the better of us and slept until later that Sunday. So if may mapadpad dito na ka-grupo, pasensya na.

I was able to take a LOT of pictures the next day. We also had lunch at VOCAS, and the food was really great. The place reminded me a lot of Angono's Balao-Balao resto, maybe because it was also an artist resto and had so many wood and sculpture there. May tile mosaic sa men's room, at sabi ni Meow, pati din sa CR ng mga babae.

Sa lahat yata ng nagpunta sa Baguio, kami ata ang kapos sa pera, tulog at oras dahil kinailangan na namin bumalik sa Maynila ng hapon.

Eto pala ang mga sinali ko:






It looked better printed on paper.

Saka ito:




Di na nga lang sya naisali kasi di sya naka-landscape.

September Pictures

Medyo delayed pero eto ang ilang mga larawan mula sa kaarawan ni Meow nung isang buwan.

Sa harap ng lumang simbahan ng Boso-Boso sa Antipolo



Nakita ko itong babae na ito na naglalakad at naaliw ako sa porma nya.

Pero di ko sya makunan ng maayos. Ayoko mapagkamalan ako na stalker!





Kuha ng Diana F+

Isa sa aking paborito.

Busy as Blah

I tend to get annoyed by people who complain a lot. And here I am complaining about complaining, while I will complain further about my schedule. Sorry, I tend to ramble when I had little sleep and will still lose sleep for maybe the next two or three weeks.

Like last Monday, I had to go through all these things I can't tell yet. The next day, I went to Makati to submit requirements. I have a scheduled thing (again with the thing I can't tell yet) that was postponed; then I did it today, and have to wait for further instructions I don't know when. I also had to go to work where I was expected to work 9 hours at least, and they are soliciting overtimes and rest day overtimes. We have this thing on Saturday scheduled in the afternoon (in Baguio) that we committed to 2 months ago, and we'll most likely go on OT till morning and rush among the people on an exodus to whatever province they have to go to. But before that, I have to go to Makati tomorrow, go home, hand the papers to some municipal office.

Of course, I need to sleep as well.

It's OK I guess if I am assured I can have some time to rest without worries. I mean, time to just rest, stay still and completely relax without worries (like that's ever going to happen anytime soon). Just 24 hours would be fine.

I think when you're busy, you get all wrapped up in the flux that you have little time to think. Like you're functioning like a robot, delegating priorities and doing the things on a must-do-first or to-get-it-done basis.

I am not the type who likes to be busy. It's a great distraction from things that worry you, but too much of it drives me crazy (coz I like not doing anything). Call me lazy but I like having time for myself. When I say time for myself, I mean time to just be alone or be with someone I am totally comfortable with, and not do anything. That is an ideal weekend for me. I don't like talking too much to people. I enjoy observing people, but I like to be a reasonably good distance away from them.

I am not even feeling well. On the way to work, the cars I can see through the window looked ghostlike to me. My knees are getting weak (in a love-unrelated way), my eyes are heavy (and so are my fingers), my belly's acting up and I can taste some bile rising up my throat.

I wish I was born 20 or 30 years earlier. Our parents may have had it easier than us. There is little room for free spirits in a 21st-century urban society in the Philippines.

For the birds

Last weekend, I ought to have slept. I was really tired last Friday, going to offices of that thing I was working hard to push through for months. Then I had maybe 3 hours of sleep. Then I headed to work, spent 9 hours there, and stayed at Meow's.

She was all lively and everything while I was dozing off. I slept and woke up from the heat. Looking at her shelf and wrestled with the idea of reading the books that she had, most of which are thick volumes of fantasy.

I decided to settle with something easy to read, The Catcher in the Rye. I read that when I was in college (I think it was my last year when I was already working and I was able to buy the books that I want).

I think I found Holden somewhat annoying, and now that I am a bit older, I realize how relatable he is, maybe because back then I hardly socialized with people, that's why.

Meow also made me watch The Crow, the movie Brandon Lee was most famous for (the only movie I know of his). Too bad he's dead.

I liked all the actors, even the villain was cool. We have Eric Draven running and crossing the rooftops. Amazingly, I liked the action sequences. These days, we see fluid CGIs that, while amazing, still remains unreal for me.

Maybe it's for the best. As I said, Brandon Lee is dead.

This leads me again to my desire to own a crow. I once suggested to Meow that we take care of a crow. Crows are very smart, you know. You can even google it. Some people think they're creepy.

No, she does not want it. She thinks they're creepy and she does not like carrion eaters at home.

Some 110 film shots

I turned on my neglected laptop after more than two weeks, and it took me about two hours to send important email messages, along with reading them, before being able to go ahead doing the things I like.

These are the test shots I have of the Keystone XR33 camera that I bought for 50 pesos at Burger Joint in Brookeside, which uses 110 film. Matagal ako makaubos ng film. Wala kasi masyadong panahon para sa sarili.

I wanted to take pictures of children, but was afraid to be mistaken for a pedophile or stalker or some other sicko that seems common these days, so I just took stolen shots that sometimes looked like this.




It was said that these cameras are great spy cameras back in the day because of how compact it was. By the way, if you were wondering what it was with the frame, it was how it was scanned by Digiprint. I am too lazy to crop them.










Sorry Shamcey Supsup for not giving you justice. Di ko napaghandaan ang pagdaan mo sa aking harap. We were just crossing the street, and it happened so fast.






This next one is my favorite. While Meow was busy taking pictures of the old church in Boso-Boso (we were the only people in the empty courtyard), this dog just walked there like he owned the place.



I don't think he looks as small or as cute (but definitely adorable), as I remember that day.


Here's a picture of the church.



I still need to process the other film rolls that I have  with shots of the church.

Siguro Sigurista

Ang pakikipagnegosasyon ay isang bagay na 'di ko masyadong gusto. Dito ko napansin na iba na talaga ang mga tao ngayon. Halimbawa, dati ang mga tao ay mas mapagtiwala. Ang salita mo ay sapat na para sila ay maging kampante. Ngayon, lahat ay kinakailangan na ilagay sa papel, mula sa mga resibo at pati ang mga simpleng pangako.

Mga tao pati dati, pag may iuutos ka, kikilos agad at hindi agad maghihintay ng bayad at kapalit.

Siguro nga kailangan natin ang tamang dokumentasyon. Sabi nila, pag-iwas ito sa mga mapagsamantala at proteksiyon sa iyong mga ari-arian, pero bakit lahat na lang kailangan? Kaya rin nauuso ang red tape.
Minsan mamadaliin ka at wala silang pakelam. Detachment. Wala lang, walang pakelam. Masyado lang sa sarili ang iniisip at laging na lang inuuna ang sarili. Minsan sinabihan ko si Meow na OK ang magbigay pero unahin ang sarili, ngunit kung hindi ka naman maabala, bakit hindi?

Ang second most influential book sa America nung 1991 (kasunod ng Bible) ay ang Atlas Shrugged ni Ayn Rand. Sa librong yun, self-interest ang tema, at kapitalismo ang kalakaran sa buhay, politika at moralidad. Aaminin ko na malaki ang naging impluwensiya noon sa akin nung ako ay nasa kolehiyo hanggang ma-realize ko na mas masaya mabuhay, magbigay at tumanggap ng walang hinihinging kapalit. Nagbasa ako ng Time Magazine nang nakaraang linggo at may article kay Ron Paul* at nabanggit ang Atlas Shrugged dun. Tayo daw ay nabubuhay sa dystopian society tulad ng kay Rand sa libro.

I gotta hand it down to Rand to write a thought-provoking piece of literature, but as a philosophy, no, no, NO! The world is full enough of greedy people as it is.

Minsan, ija-justify natin ang paninigurado natin para sa ating proteksiyon. Pero baka di na lang natin mamalayan na ginagawa na natin sa ibang tao ang bagay na hindi natin gustong gawin sa sarili natin. In the end, lahat tayo nagiging halimaw (na nag-iisip na tayo ay mabuti kasi ginagawa lang natin ang mga bagay na ito para di tayo malamangan) dahil swapang tayo.

This is a note for myself... that I should never be too egoistic and not love money too much.

In tagalog, para di ko makalimutan (pag nagka-episode ako ng English amnesia), di ako dapat maging gahaman.

*Ron Paul ay isang politiko sa Amerika (at sinubukan maging Presidential political candidate) na nagawang mahulaan ang fiscal crisis ng mga nakaraang taon.

Black and White

I came across a bunch of files in which I used my camera for 120 B&W film for the first time. These are what came out.

Photos taken in Cubao. This is beside Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf near Gateway Mall and Araneta Coliseum across National Bookstore.





And over here is Meow, my girlfriend and best friend. I am often with her. Not only does she support me, isa sya sa mga promotor o, kung hindi man ang nangungunsinti ng mga kalokohan ko.

These were taken during Bern's wedding.






The next one is a picture from the old Nemiranda Art House by one of the coolest art teachers I know, Nemisio Miranda, Jr.. He moved the art house a few blocks away. The structure is still there in Angono and is rented. This sculpture, though aged, is still great. We had a few lessons with him last January, and I hope we could have more lessons soon if he would still accept us. We've been really busy with work and spending a lot of money on the house we are moving into.

I used to think I could make excellent pictures if its Black and White. I guess I was wrong. At least, I am learning. I blame my digital camera for giving me good B&W pictures. These were shots taken using my Diana F+ Camera.

Covers

Whenever I hear a Glee song, I hate it. Even before people started hating Glee, I hated the songs. I hate the way most people massacre good songs by unnecessarily belting and doing whatever vocal thing they do. Magaling na kayo kumanta, tama na. The latest cover I've been hating now is The Black Eyed Peas' Time of my Life. I like the original and I hate what they did.

I hate it when singers make a mediocre version of songs, making it not much different the original. I don't see the whole point. A good example of that are the songs on Glee. Okay, they use it for the TV show, to inspire people not to take drugs and be responsible, like the girl character there who got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption. So it does have a point. 90% of the songs on that wonderful and inspiring show are, sadly, either mediocre or an insult to the original singers (who for some reason makes them use their songs).

I can't get over the fact that they used a lot of Queen songs.

I also hate it when they make songs ugly like 10% of the songs on Glee, the local singers we have in the Philippines who can't compose any new material, and the Black Eyed Peas singing the Time of my Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes.


I could name more, but my mind could not bear remembering the sacrilege. Let the hurting stop.

Photo Collage

Just adding the photo collage that I did on Picasa that I am currently using for my Gallery page.

Salvaged photographs

A couple of months back, I was planning to enter this competition. What I had in mind was creating a double exposure with my illustration and some landscapes. When I had the film developed, I did not anticipate it to look flushed. I did not consider some factors, and it ended up overexposed due to the flash bouncing back from the black background I was using (it was by the way just paper).



So I was a bit too ambitious for my own good. It took me months to make myself look at the files again, and I knew I had great standalone pictures (and film) wasted. And it's only now that I viewed them again.

Of twelve shots, these were the most decent ones that came out (one not being a double exposure at all).

Scorpion Turtle Snake

Meow and I were talking about people, about whether people can change their ways of life if they had it a long time. She related a story, a familiar one that you may know as well.

(The story may not be accurate coz I am writing it based on recollection.)

There was a scorpion who asked a turtle to ride its back to cross the other side of the river. The turtle said no, saying that the scorpion would sting him with his venom, and he would die. The scorpion then said that if he did so, he too would die from drowning when the turtle stops swimming.With this logic, the turtle allowed the scorpion to climb his back and rest on his shell, as he swam the river.

Nearing the riverside, the scorpion stung the turtle. In his dying breath, the turtle asked why, and the scorpion replied that he can't help it. It's his nature. So they both died.

Hearing the story, I think I heard of it before coz it's so familiar, and I must have somehow forgotten it. I still feel sorry for the turtle.

Then I remembered a story of the snake I read in a Filipino textbook when I was a kid.

There was a man who found a sick, injured snake. He took the snake to his house where his family lived. He cared for the snake, cured and fed it.

Eventually, the snake grew healthy. The man went out for a while. When he returned he saw the snake, just about to strike his small child. He took his bolo and killed it with with one blow on the head before it bites his child.

Normally stories in our books have a moral. It could be about respect, diligence, honesty and all that stuff. It normally has a wise quote there for us to interpret.

This one had something that ran along the line about never trusting a snake or snakes are traitors. Back then, I did not understand the point of the story. Only later when I was older that I realized that it's a metaphor. Hahaha!

So, do I trust people who seem to be, by nature, evil or have been evil or who was raised in an evil environment. I am not sure, really. So far, no encounters yet. So what was the point of this post? It has no moral or point, I think. Or maybe it does.

The Movie that Gay Filipinos are Talking About

Yesterday, I agreed to watch the movie Zombadings with my girlfriend and her housemate, a good friend who's been feeling down lately. She's been interested to see the movie after watching the trailer on Youtube last week. Now she and friend needed to cheer up (both have problems unrelated to each other), so we watched the movie.

The movie was fairly amusing, and would be even hilarious by other people's standards. While I admit that it had a lot of funny parts, there were things there that I think I understand the joke, but did not make me laugh. Amusing but something that would not make me laugh out loud.

On the other hand, Meow and Joyce, both of whom are more indoctrinated in gay culture, sub-culture and things like that, were having so much fun watching it.

The comedy goes like this. There's this boy Remington who made fun of gay people as a kid, until one fateful day in a cemetery, he made fun of one who cursed him to become gay when he grows up. Years later, Remington grows up repesenting pretty much all the ugly stereotypes we have of the bad things in men (lazy, brash, etc.).

He meets a girl he really likes shortly before he turns 21, then the curse started taking effect. This is at a time when there was a serial killer at large in their small rural community who's been killing gay men (all found with messy hair, wide eyes and open mouths like The Ring, differing not much if not for the streaks of mascara dripping fom their eyes). At that time, the curse took effect and he started to act gay, talk like the stereotypical gay men we see on TV and have feelings for his best friend.

The three of them then go on a hunt for a cure for Remington's affliction, amid a killer who may know he is gay.

Now, suprisingly, the movie had the kind of ending that I like. And all the actors in the movie were very good. It would have been a predictable ending if not for the fact that the gay community in real life would have wanted an alternative  ending, and so, I did not think it would end that way.

A day after watching the movie (yes, it had me thinking), I realized that it was not so bad. It had elements of an almost good movie.

Life and the House

My sister's got a baby, and my fiancee's housemate's dad died. It does make you think. We're gonna be replaced by someone else sooner or later. I am really happy for my sister though. I think the whole being a parent thing made her and my brother-in-law grow up all of a sudden, or so it seems. I feel more younger now with them. I am not sure if I am gonna be a dad. I am excited and terrified of the idea at the same time.

We visited the house that we're gonna be moving into, to take some measurements. My girlfriend studied Interior Design in college, so she has ideas in her head of what to do with the house. The budget we have is gonna be her biggest deterrant. The expenses of acquiring the house is big enough plus the rennovations, there is not much to buy after we move in.

Breakfast at Scrapyard

It was a nice Sunday morning. I woke up early, and I was famished. As soon as my girlfriend woke up, we went to eat out. May gotohan sa Angono na napuntahan na namin ng tatlo o apat na beses (so this is not a food review or anything). It's Scrapyard located in the Highway in Angono that leads to Binangonan. It's the road you pass before you turn to Balao-Balao (the really nice place that offers exotic food that is probably the most blogged restaurant in Angono).

I guess what I like about Scrapyard is that it's like the old-fashioned gotohan that I grew up with. I mean the food, of course. It is also nice they have all these wonderful movie paraphernalia and posters on their walls, ranging form the  Scarface to Marilyn Monroe. The owner must also have been a Beatles fan, coz I think there were three popular Beatles posters there.

 The food is not bad. If you're expecting something special, go order congee at North Park or some other more fancy-pansy place. The goto they have is tasty at least that one is consistent. We left happy and satisfied.

 I think it turns into a bar at night, and I have not had the chance yet to drink there. Maybe I will one of these days.

The weekend

It's been a tiring weekend. Last Friday, I had one additional day off from work, but I had to do so may stuff. So by the time I finished, I was spent. I did wake up early, way too early, and spent unproductive time browsing the Internet checking Facebook and other stuff I could not remember. I think checking people's inane status and insipidness on the Internet is more wasteful of time than watching TV.

That Saturday, I picked my girlfriend up at work, and we actually spent some badly needed quality time. We decided to not go out and watched DVDs. I finally saw Inception and Wolfman. Social Network bored us. I think him making a website mentioning codes and algorithms that I do not understand is more interesting than how the movie was picking up, and we stopped watching sometime after 25 minutes. Good casting though. I think I am not in the mood to see it at that time, and may decide to dedicate some quiet time for the movie soon.


 Then by evening, over Jollibee, we watched ballet on DVD. Yes, ballet. While Meow does not want to watch The Black Swan, she wanted to watch Ondine. Maybe I am narrow-minded. I was bored. I told her, I cannot be in a live ballet, either I'll sleep or laugh out loud. I think it's a cultural thing. I tried to interpret it, but I failed. Thank you, Wikipedia, for enlightening me of what the story was about.

When I got home, I found a copy of Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. I bought it sometime ago. I have read  an e-book, until now, I have not reread it on this book. I read the Introduction and realized it was supposed to be funny. When I read it, I found it sad. Maybe I knew it was sad, so I was not able to take it as funny. That's the problem I guess when someone told you the ending of the book. Maybe I would read it again soon with higher spirits to enjoy it more.

Working on stuff

Sometimes growing up requires you to make decisions for yourself and for others. I am not very good at this stuff, and almost makes me wish to be a kid forever. Sometimes I have to rely on myself a lot.

I am loaning a house, which I will be living in with my girlfriend. It's scary coz I am afraid of what would happen to us.

I am excited because it is like the independence I was yearning for. It might not be coz I am not completely alone, but still, it's my/our own home.

I want to write, draw, do whatever when ever I feel like it, and not care if people are looking at it.

I am excited, but like all things we need to make some sacrifices. In this case, it might be a lot of sacrifices. Scary stuff.

Artist chatter

I love Artist A Day, a website that features one artist once a day everyday. Similar to Every Day Fiction that has one flash fiction everyday, I have them sending me email everyday to my inbox. It's refreshing to see art work from different people from different places using different media, but it's funny and sometimes torturous to read the things that they write about themselves. So I prefer just looking at the art.

The accompanying text just makes me confused.

For example:
Scale and palette vary tremendously, from small, intimate, and subtle, to large, grand, and dramatic. In all he strives to capture a meditative spirit that is unique to his approach*

Now that one was a bit verbose. But once in a while, you'll get something like this:

The literal destruction of an object is secondary to the overall effect created by color (dis)harmony and the overall aesthetic of the reclaimed and reinvented object/experience. I openly play with the allure of foreign and aggressive new colors and forms into otherwise familiar and traditional settings. Barriers and obstacles are thereby created between the viewer and the object through which one must negotiate an understanding of what is both present and hidden...*

*all text from the website

I always thought it is better for the art to speak for itself. I am not saying all the artists. I mean, It's not to say I don't like their work. I enjoy being exposed to different forms of art, but sometimes I prefer to leave to the viewer to get his own ideas. A description is nice as sort of a guide, but too much makes me feel like an idiot understanding where the heck I could see what they were talking about.

I think that is the problem with being an artist -- or anybody, for that matter. Sometimes it is a requirement for people to talk about something you did, or be good with people. I am not really quite good at it. I can be when I really put my mind into it, but it's a bit of an effort.

Random talk

Meow, who was awake for 24 hours, was on a diatribe about how much she hated the last installment of Harry Potter. Thank God I did not have a strong desire for either books or movies. She read the book and she hated the movies, and now she is hating Rowling for being a sellout.

I woke up to check my email and saw a Shibumi  prequel, Satori. It was not be written by the original writer, Trevanian, being dead and all.

I looked for the reviews of people who read the original, who may think like me. I read the reviews which were good, but it seems the plot seems too weak for me. Thankfully, Amazon still has its share of people who are unapologetic.

You see, Nikko is to me who Holden Caulfield was for others, or any popular Bildungsroman characters.

Hence, I won't touch the Satori book with a wooden stick.

Moving Houses

We are moving again. For the past two years, it feels like we're nomads. Maybe because for 16 years, we've been in one place, another ten in another house. So when we moved to three houses, and in my case, going to four, it's a bit confusing. Long story.
The house that we are in the process of leaving is a nice one, not minding the nosy neighbors and neglectful parents and their irritatingly obnoxious kids.We have stayed there for a year.
My sister is mortgaging a house. I've been there a few hours ago, and it was nice. It's big, but old. I like the tiles. It looks unique. I don't think they sell tiles like that anymore. It has thick oldy-shaken swirls like marble in earth colors.
Both of them are in the same subdivision that has to pass through some grassy spots away from the town proper. I prophesize that it will not be as grassy in the next two years. I am not a big fan of urbanization.
I particularly like the current guard of the subdivision. He's like a stout Filipino version of Charlie Chaplin, who swears a lot. I am thinking Hitler but he's too goofy to be a Hitler, and not so bad.
Tomorrow, I'll be in Makati to submit some papers, so that I could have my own house. That would be nice. I hope it pushes through, coz the house is up the mountains with a nice view. Although small, it would be nice. And it's just a walking distance away from an art gallery, which houses really nice artwork.

Of Dumbledore being Gay

Last night, I was editing another transcript that was making me sick, I can't help but hear co-workers discussing. A transvestite talking to his friend about Dumbledore's sexual orientation. They were making arguments about Dumbledore's friendship with other characters. Blah, blah, blah. This topic is tiring since the JK Rowling comment.

Anyway, I think it is all irrelevant. It is just trivial and contributes not much to the story. It just happened that the last installment is being shown again, so people once again dwell on HP stuff. Me experiencing deja vu. Nothing changes the story. Whether he's gay or not, I don't care. It's not a big deal, and no, I don't think his tenderness for Harry is anything more. He may be gay but he is no way a freaking pedophile.

People tend to overthink things not really worth thinking too much about.

Robot Porn

The reason I watched Transformers III (The Dark of the Moon) is because (a) I've seen the first 2 installments; (b) I like robots;  and (c) I fell victim to Paramount Pictures' marketing. I was not expecting much if not for the conspiracy theory thing that I thought would be a big issue in the movie. It was not.

So the story goes, man indeed landed on the moon in 1961 discovering alien technology coming from Cybertron. This has the technology that could have changed the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. This technology was kept by Sentinel Prime, Optimus Prime's predecessor, who tried to escape with the technology. This is also wanted by the Decpticons, supposed to be. The rest would be spoilers.

The movie left me baffled in more ways than I could track, for example, why would Sam, the main character, have a problem finding a job? He may have been awful at job interviews, but who cares? He saved the world twice! I'd be a bigger asshole! Also, why did the Decepticons just do the activities in the third movie when they could have done it earlier? And has Optimus Prime always been emo?

On Traditional Media

When I was younger, back when digital cameras are seen only on futuristic TV shows, people used film. We would have our cameras loaded with 35mm film with only vague ideas of what it would look like in the end. Then we would wait for an hour, check that the package did not get mixed up and then go home.

Later, we would inspect the contents of the pictures excitedly, looking at the good shots and be proud of it, feel a bit bad about the ones that did not turn out well, and be happy that we have a remembrance of that moment or event that was special that you brought a camera with you.

I think that's one thing that we have taken for granted. Now we see everything a few seconds after a picture is taken, then we keep or delete it. The process while efficient has made us lazy, less conscious of the shots. If we did not like it, we delete. Just like that. We  blindly shoot pictures, keep some, delete the rest. That's what we do now.

Photo labs in our town are mostly closed.

It's like drawing as well. Now, most artists rely on computers. I think in a lot of illustration work, people now prefer digital. Sure it is purer, more solid, more even. But for me nothing beats the work of the hand, the meticulous and tedious effort to put color in empty spaces that sometimes take a long time to fill out. It requires skill and talent, and I wish people who have that talent would still keep on doing it.

I am not against digital work, here I am writing on a blog that would be posted on the Internet, but I think it woul sure be nice if the old ways are not forgotten. I know I am not very good at it, but I like to keep on doing it.

I am not sure if I am prepared for the world that treats traditional media as like the dagguerotype. 

PROUD TO BE PINOY? Dont Be, Here's Why...

I saw this on the net. It made me sad, angry and got me thinking.

Of long hair, rock bands and people who wear T-shirts with Rock bands

So I was at 7-11, and the counter guy asked, "ang haba na ng buhok nyo ah," with a sense of familiarity.

I smiled, a bit embarassed and surprised coz I don't know the guy.

"Tumutugtog ba kayo, sir?"

"Hindi," sagot ko.

When I saw the disappointment on his face, I almost wanted to cut my hair. Almost. The reason why my hair is now longer is because I am lazy. And haircuts have gotten expensive since my barber shop closed. Also,  I started to like my long hair.

Someone told me that the longer the hair, the higher the expectation is to be in a band. I would not say I did not have fantasies at some point to be in a band, but I did not and I am too old to be in a band. And it's just not me, or that is what Kevin Arnold said before he bought his electric guitar in The Wonder Years.




Too bad they disbanded a week after their first gig. It's funny.

There is this guy at work who has hair that goes down to his waist, no one will be disappointed in him coz he has a band.

Well, I listen to rock songs almost as much as I listen to alternative, but I won't claim I play in a band. Or I could tell them I could play a triangle, to save face, but alas, I don't know how to play even that. My promising musical career ended when I was around twelve when my singing duo crashed. I would like to say creative differences, but we were young and we had to do things on our own. We could have been like big, you know like the Dresden Dolls, Belle and Sebastian, Bono and Cher.... uhh.... Hahaha!

So going back to the hair topic, I just like my long hair that I intend to cut in 2012. Why 2012? I just feel like 2012 is the right time coz the world might end.

I don't want people to think I am a poser or anything, but I think people are narrow-minded if they think only people in a band or artists can have long hair. While I am guilty of calling people posers, more on that later, I have long hair only to please myself. I think to judge people and what they do on the basis of their hair is wrong. Like people with clean cut hair can not join a rock band? Of course, they can. I don't think we or them are like Samson who gets something from their hair other than basic protection for the head.

Going on to the matter of posers. I was on my way to work, it was on the same day as the 7-11 incident, and saw this dude with the uncanniest resemblance to Justin Bieber ride the jeep wearing an Our Lady of Peace shirt (the band), and I wonder if he really knows them. Now I am not telling you he does not listen to Our Lady of Peace, coz I don't know if he does. All I know is I don't listen to Our Lady of Peace, even though it is in my iPod, because it brings memories of my high school, more like the name of the band sends me back to high school.

But there are people who wear Iron Maiden or Metallica or Angry Samoans and, in some cases, obscure bands, then listen to Lady Gaga. So I wonder why they are wearing those shirts, as if rock band shirts now beats buying signature clothes. Maybe because it's cheaper than wearing whatever brand you can buy at so much more in Shangri-la or at Powerplant mall.

I don't get it. I know that these people don't appreciate the album art or anything. Or maybe, simply, they hope that the coolness of the bands rubs off on them some way.
Maybe I just think ill of people. I don't know.

Forgive me because I lack sleep

I woke up earlier than planned and could not sleep. I think I am tired of sleep at daytime. I really could not understand why they have to send so many of us in the evening shift.

I took a 3-day vacation leave last week that I had beside a "company-proclaimed" scheduled holiday, and a weekend. Now that I am back to work, I wish that holiday never ended. I feel really drained.

Pictuuuures

These are not one of the best pictures that I took, and I got lazy to crop the edges of the scanned film.

This one I liked coz it looked pretty.

oOo

The whole set of film, for me, was kinda crappy. This one is among the better ones.

oOo

These are taken on Bern's wedding. She's my girlfriend's friend, and these are some of her friend's friends, except for one who really is her friend and kind of my friend, too.

oOo

This is among the first time I used a 35 mm film on what's supposed to be a 120 film camera.

Of my task today, money problems and a small regret

I am trying to work on projects today, a couple of design work. I am half done with one although I am afraid it won't be good enough. I guess precision and other technical aspects are important in design, qualities I am working hard to improve. Baka kasi ito na ang sagot ko sa kahirapan.

The weekend has been nice, despite being with little money.  I had some bad news about one of our prospects in getting a house of our own. It hasn't fallen apart just yet, but I am keeping my fingers crossed. If it does prove to be good, we will be working very hard to make ends meet. But I really want it.

Oh, I am beginning to hate businessmen. I don't mean everybody who owns a business, but those pesky capitalists who always think of money and earning money and making more money at the expense of others. I have a business degree, and I realize that it was one of the major decisions in my life that I regret. I did that at a young age, I had to make a quick decision and there are few choices for people who are poor.

I am back to my 8-hour-plus work day tonight. I think they are going to kill us. The past month they have been giving us foreign calls to edit, which are all difficult to understand. They give us tests and some more menial work to finish in between. The compensation, thought by many to be big, is not enough to make up for all the stress that accompanies it.

I think I aged ten years there. I hope something changes, I really do.

Cute Birds are Addictive

Birds are addictive... It seems like it. With the popularity of Angry Birds, which I have tired from, I have stopped iPod games for a while until recently. I have been playing easier games that are not as addictive.

I chanced upon Rip Off from Colorbox, not entirely knowing what it is about. I do that a lot, downloading stuff and removing it from my computer after a while. It was over in just a matter of seconds. It was tough compared to most games, with a character that looked like this:

I know. Really, how cute! And so are the pesky birds from Rovio. I hate addictive cute birds. I found this one more challenging though. The way the game works is easy to understand, you just point your finger in an area where he will go and he will splice everything in his path, including the tons of enemies he's got, ninja-style. And with the number of enemies there, I wonder why those aliens are so interested in those eggs anyway.

I guess the developers wanted to make the game challenging for there was not much transition or learning curve, maybe because the goal of the game was easy. But it is tough, the enemies were swarming almost right away.

You have a little bird protecting his brother while his parents are away. And I wonder, what kind of mother would do that? That's too much responsibility for a chick. Hahaha! Ang hirap kasi.

And you have to avoid those red dynamite-looking birds that seem to show up and go at inconvenient spots. The game is challenging, it has an addictive quality and great aesthetics. I think those are things that make a cool game.

As much as I hate losing, I still keep on playing it. Maybe I really need to go out more often.

Plans

I woke up from what seemed like a dreamless sleep. I had this dream of work, not a scary one but more unpleasant rather than bad. It had me doing what I normally do, it was uneventful, more like it. With my boss not liking me more than normal and asking me to do tasks I already did and review what I finished because it was not that good.

The past weeks, my work was not very well-done. I have to admit that I am badly motivated. I really wish I could do better but I cannot. My heart is just in it no more. I know I can do better because I have before, I just can't. It's hard to for people to see how difficult editing transcripts are like when you do it one after the other.

Quitting the job is easier said than done. I could, really, and I intend to do so soon. I am scared of my plans after. The job pays really well. It's like me acting like Charlie Brown. Anxiety attacks.

I feel I need to take risks to do what I want to do, not knowing if I am going to be good at it. I oftentimes wonder if I really am good at anything.

The job that I have, once I let it go, I know I can bounce back. But my youth is slipping away, and I am scared not to do what I really want. I don't want to end up like most of my coworkers.

I wish that all pieces fall into place. I have few hopes in the future, and I hope this is one that works out well. I had many disappointments more than success and I wish that if there is a God, he hears me out this time.

The gay girl on the Internet

I have read THIS online, and I was thinking, I wanted to do something like that but felt that I am not up to it, but by choosing some character less emotionally consuming as that. A year back, I tried to write a story with a female protagonist targeted for the romantic, and it made me feel wimpy and almost emo-ishly gay. Hahaha! I am too old for having some weird identity crisis.

You gotta admire the guy, and I think the commentor at the bottom is right. We will read fiction because it's more fun to read, although it was intended to lead to otherwise, it was more interesting than most real stories.

A gay girl in Damascus is interesting than some old dude somewhere in Syria. At least people stopped for a while and paid attention.

Iris times two

Iris times two, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

I dare you

000002, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

I dont know what he was saying, I guess I was a bit drunk.

Bell Tower

000004, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

Cathedral

000005, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

Trio

Fun, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

I took the less-exposed photograph of the two girls, doing some naughty poses, then one of them borrowed my camera and did a double-exposure picture of us.

Iris and Meow

Iris and Meow, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

It's Iris' birthday. I was using a newly bought Diana F+ camera. I decided to do some experiments with it.

meow and her snow cat diana

meow and her snow cat diana, a photo by jay-p on Flickr.

I took this using an ISO 200 film using a point-and-shoot Kodak Star 335 camera. I kinda liked the light leak

From Quiapo to the malls

My girlfriend and I went to Quiapo and three malls, all in one day. I was able to buy a Yashica SLR camera for 2,500 pesos. I was scared to buy the other brands.

I wish I had money and I can afford to quit my job and take pictures all day. I know I am not that good yet, but I need to time to practice and I am sure I will be really good at it if I do. I would have bought a DSLR but they are ridiculously expensive for me. I even spent the money I was allotting for Prismacolors.

Besides, I like film. It reminds me of my youth when we really aren't sure what we are going to get. The ones I have developed, I had good ones, but with more crappy stuff coming up.

I am planning to join a contest, and I've been daydreaming, "Baka ito na ang sagot ko sa kahirapan!" I imagine myself walking out of the office shouting the vilest of expletives while the guards escort me out.

That would be wonderful.

Malls make me sad. In our country, they have replaced parks. Kids play in this pen, jumping in trampolines and jelly-like plastic that is supposed to look like water. SM North has these stuffed animals and Styrofoam fishes. As an attraction they have live animals this weekend in one corner. And I felt sorry for the reptiles, and I am not that sympathetic to reptiles to begin with.

Once I am able to get that house, if I do, I would stop going to malls too often. I used to like malls when I was in college. Whenever I don't feel like going to school, I'd go to the mall, almost always alone and not buying anything, I would go to the mall. Maybe it's because I am getting old or I just don't like large crowds, I try to avoid them now, but there are very few choices to go to now, and everyting seems to be done in malls now: groceries, bills, shopping....

People and Me

When I was younger, when I've got no idea yet, I wanted to belong somewhere. I always had a problem fitting in. It was like that when I was in high school and the earlier parts of college. I do have friends, a lot of acquaintances, but in the end, I felt alone most of the time. I felt I could or should change. Part of me was still longing for that when I started working, even if I guess I wouldn't admit it.

Then I realize that, in the end, I would never fit in anywhere. I am not that likable as a person. It just is, maybe because I am different. I like acting like a kid sometimes, or more appropriately, I enjoy doing the stuff that kids ought to be doing. I mumble to myself. I entertain unrealistic thoughts and things like that. I never found it weird but people do.

I thought that I don't like certain people, but I realize that I don't like many people. It's not that I hate them or anything, but I don't like people, in general. I like being alone. I don't like large crowds and prefer the comfort of being people I am familiar with and accepts me for who I am, which is harder to find, considering how people seem to judge everything on the basis of their preconceived stereotypes. Not that I am not guilty of that myself, I guess what I lacked was the ability to pull it off.

There are things I could let go or not care about. There are things that bother me, so why bother? The world wouldn't change for poor old me, it's just how it is. I maybe narrow-minded this way, but we have to admit that that is how the world works. My values may differ from theirs, I may not approve of what they do just as they would not approve of how I am running my life, I just gotta accept that I cannot proselytize people into my thinking or my idea of fun.

I realize that I like myself too much, as egoistic as it sounds, to be a different person. And those who accept that are welcome to be a friend, unless I don't like you.

Facebook sucks

The weather is freaking hot. I have work tonight, and I am finding it hard to sleep. I was planning to do some sketches, but I feel lazy to do that, too.

I logged in to look at FB, and found it annoying, depressing.

I would rather look at Facebook, if people would strop bitching around and share something worth sharing. I really dont care much whether you're at home sleeping or drinking orange juice. I don't care, and I am sure 95% of the people on FB don't care, too.

And also, please, for the love of old people, stop sharing your sexcapades. I am sure your low-life friends like that, pati na rin ang mga chismoso at chismosa, but how about others like you cousins or your colleagues. Hopefully, you don't have your parents in there. FB is a wonderful way of advertising you're a slut.

I hate the bickering and the inane, utterly insipid things people do or type, just for the sake of conversation, or ugly people posing like supermodels. The weird part is that they are not posing like supermodels out of fun, they are SERIOUS about it. It's scary.They have these big professional cameras, which thanks to digital technology, people can buy easily now.

Somebody should tell them to stop it. I mean, I wanna be a model, too, but I can't. I am not deluded.

The pictures on Facebook, with people having their tongues sticking out or men looking for sex and women clamoring for attention by being slutty makes me ask, "Has the world gone low or what?"

I always thought I am open minded, but I am really getting intolerant.

Quick update

I am tweaking this blog. I am not sure if I would ever look for another domain after the one that I had expired.

I plan to use this to write stuff, post pictures and stuff.

I am aslo gonna be working on making some other things.